Trying to Not Feel Like a Quitter

Today, I quit my job…well, one of my jobs.

Just over 10 days ago I was sitting in my bed late at night thinking about money. How much I would be making each month. How much was necessary to pay my bills. And what amount of money I would have left over to spend on everything else that would come my way. At that moment in time I decided to apply as a barista at Starbucks.

3am idea. Seems like a great one…Right??

I had an interview a couple of days later and got the job on the spot. 1 orientation and 2 early morning shifts later and I’ve already quit.

But I’m trying not to view myself as a quitter — Generally when I commit to something I have already spent plenty of time thinking about all parts of the situation very thoroughly. Once I make the final commitment I will follow through 110% until the task is complete or the time has come that it no longer applies for me to work towards that particular goal. This time around things were different. Very different. As soon as I had made the decision, I questioned whether I made the correct one. I was going to be working 4:30am shifts prior to going to dance from 10am-2pm and then heading to work my evening jobs teaching ballet or in the bakery at Lunds. These were going to be very long days where I would be on my feet the entire time…

So last night when I was falling asleep in the shower at the early time of 7:30pm, I decided to pray. I asked The Lord to please give me a sign to answer the question looming over my head: whether or not I had made the right decision. I had been going back and forth between the main positive: money, and the main negative: pure exhaustion and just could not make up my mind.

Our God works in miraculous ways and answers our prayers exactly when we are ready to listen.

This morning I was supposed to be up at 3:35am to get ready for work. I woke up at 1:30am instead with sharp pains on the top of my foot (what I call ‘stress fracture pains’ and have dealt with before) and knew that was my answer. The Lord had answered my prayers. I would not be going into work this morning and I would not be continuing with this job.

I proceeded to sit in my bed for a little while and think about everything a little deeper. I came across a post from a friend of mine that was exactly what I needed to read (https://alexisluedtke.wordpress.com/2015/09/25/busy/) She made some fabulous points in there about ‘saying yes’ to, and making time for the positive things in life that fill you up. Make you a person. Help you feel whole in this crazy world. If I were to continue this job I would not have time to ‘say yes.’ I would not have time to see my friends. I would barely have time to sleep, recuperate after long days or prepare the foods that help me stay healthy and strong. All of these things are very important in one’s life. I have been through my own personal dark/low times in the past but I know that I am currently at a very happy, healthy and stable point in my life. I want to hold on to that feeling for as long as I can. I have awesome friends and awesome jobs. I like having the time that I do have to do the things that I want to do. I want to have fun. I want to live my life. And I want to stay happy!

I did not quit. I simply did what was most beneficial for me at this moment in my life. I am not a quitter. I am a thinker. I am putting my self, my body and my happiness first. And for that I will be forever grateful when I look back on this time in my life.

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One thought on “Trying to Not Feel Like a Quitter

  1. I am very happy for you! The world is moving too fast. It is beginning to smother lives with the delusion that we gave to in a certain position or achieve a certain status for us to be successful. However, many tmes our quest to find that success becomes superficial and we start looking for jobs instead of careers. Just as a matress does not provide a good night’s sleep, working in a position that is not fit for you, despite the title, will not bring gratification. My ,02! I hope you continue to bask in peace.

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