Sometimes life throws too much your way. You’re busy. You’re stressed. You don’t have time for YOU!
This is precisely how I’m feeling. Overwhelmed. Exhausted. Lacking time to focus on myself. I dance Tuesday-Saturday. When I’m not dancing I’m teaching or working. When I’m not working I’m prepping my classes or rehearsals for the coming week so I go in to each as prepared as I can be for my students. I shouldn’t complain, and I know that, because I want to be busy. I want to make money. And ultimately I truly do love what I do for a living 🙂 But not having time for myself is getting difficult. I have very limited free time, and the time I do have I tend to occupy with sleeping…
I miss having a day off. I miss having the time to get outside. Think. Explore. Photograph. Do the things that calm me down most in the season that fills me with the most joy. Taking in every last second of the cool, crisp, fall air that too soon will change to a snowy, harsh, cold winter.
Today, though, I tried really hard and found a little bit of time for myself.
After I finish teaching my ballet classes and rehearsals I tend to sit in the studio, listen to music, and plan the next class I have. Tonight, I decided to take a little less time doing that, threw on my pointe shoes and worked on some things for myself. Turns. Balances. I even started teaching myself a new variation! All things that will better prepare me for my own classes and rehearsals tomorrow during the day opposed to the ones that I will be teaching in the evening, because putting yourself first every now and again isn’t the end of the world. That’s what leads to sanity, and as I do the opposite I drive myself insane…
Then, I decided to go for a run. Me. A Run. I don’t run. Like ever. But whenever I do I tend to feel better. I spend the time on the treadmill thinking and relaxing and calming down. The physical workout is an added bonus. To me, running is more of a mental relaxer and a life calming experience than anything else. In the back of my head I know that it is also doing fabulous things for my body which is what pushes me to go the extra distance. No, I don’t run far, and no, I don’t run long, but it’s just long enough to put my mind at ease and help rid of the sour mood that’s been occupying me of recent.
I don’t like to be upset. I don’t like to be stubborn. Grumpy. Rude. Tired. Harsh. Cold. I really truly don’t. We all have our days, our weeks, it happens, but the more frequent that I can find the time to do a couple things for myself (including finding the time to write on here. This definitely helps calm me and center my thoughts) I know that those feelings and behaviors will be quick to fade away. 🙂
“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”-Rainer Maria Rilke