I swear I was just ringing in the New Year, and now it’s already April! 2016 is flying by…and based on how it has begun, I am really hoping for a better 3/4 of the year…
2015 was a year full of positivity, new experiences and adventures, and so many great people that I went into 2016 expecting even bigger and better things. Unfortunately though, 2016 thus far has been filled with a lot of negativity, anxiety, depression, and the loss of many important things around me. I lost one of the most supportive people in my life, I lost my job unexpectedly, I’ve lost some friends and at the end of some days I have lost my sanity. The past couple of months were filled with so much stress and drama, that I swear I could’ve been the main character on a soap opera…but no, that was just my day to day life. Between work and getting absolutely zero sleep I relied on coffee and music to get me through each days struggles. Don’t get me wrong there were ups to the downs, but there just seemed to be so. many. downs.
I try and lead my life with positive vibes, happy thoughts and a love towards others. But eventually when you’re not getting that in return it proves challenging. Life is always chaotic, and one will always hear negative feedback and dislike from various individuals around them…I do know that, but when that becomes your everyday life? What is one to do? Aside from putting my full trust in the Lord there really is not much to get me from one day to the next sometimes. I am thankful for the friends that have uplifted me and my family who is always loving and kind. Aside from that I can’t say I have much else to hold on to and one just has to become okay with that, I guess.
January brought loss and sadness. February brought depression and confusion. March brought stress, anxiety and frustration.But I am thankful that so far April has brought new friendships, new job opportunities and an overall feeling of love and joy! At the end of March/beginning of April I went job hunting on the East Coast. I packed my bags and went on a 65 hour solo trip to places I had never been, auditioning for companies I had never seen and surrounding myself with people I had never met. It was an adventure, let me tell you! Stressful? Of course, but overall I had a very good time! The upcoming months will of course continue to be stressful, but I am looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. As I continue to search for a job for next year I would appreciate anyone’s and everyone’s thoughts and prayers. This is a crazy time for me as I like to know what’s coming in the future (even if it changes last minute at least I tend to have a plan). This is the first time in a long time though that what lies ahead is completely uncertain. I don’t have anything lined up and that is scary. When you assume you have at least one solid, steady (not necessarily ideal…but at least it’s there) option and it’s taken away from you with zero warning? What’s one to do?
Although 2016 has begun a little rocky, I am holding out for the rest of the year! I know that there are great things waiting and I know that at the end of every day I feel so much love from those around me ❤
–I am also grateful for a continued outlet of photography. Since I can’t spend late nights alone in a dance studio at this time I am happy to take and edit pictures in its place–