So I did the thing…

… you know … the thing where people delete one or all modes of social media … Yea! That thing! Well clearly I didn’t delete all (since I’m posting here) but I did delete Instagram and force my way away from people who were not benefiting my life at this time. Instagram is filled with so many “picture perfect” individuals with “picture perfect” lives who experience the “perfect” things at the “perfect” times. And despite the fact that all of the above are placed between quotation marks, it is hard to get past this idea of perfection. These pictures are edited perfectly, taken umpteen million times to have the desired affect and then are posted with the caption that has taken hours to think of. Trust me … I know this cycle because I have always been a part of it too.

This comparison between myself and others is far from healthy and is so distracting at times. Here I am in such a huge transitional phase and it was all really taking a toll on me, which at first was hard to admit. How can something so small and meaningless as a social media platform really cause me to feel the things that I was feeling? Unfortunately so so many people feel this way as well, but don’t admit it to themselves or others, and the cycle of comparison is such a hard one to stop. As I scrolled down my feed there were pictures of graduations, weddings, and other people experiencing some amazing things as their lives were changing and evolving. Although I am nothing but happy for these people, my own life is changing in a different way. Currently I am in school for the first time in forever and trying to look towards my completely unknown future…

Where I’ve been spending my time…exhausting!

Without Instagram on my phone I have spent much less time on my phone and much more time focused on my studies, my current job, my health, and hopeful future job applications! I am 4.5 weeks through my first 5 week summer course, and so far I have 100%! I am not saying this to brag, but to simply feel good about my accomplishments! I was very unsure of how I would do when I began school again. It has been four years since I have been doing homework, reading textbooks, and taking quizzes, and although things went well in high school that didn’t mean it would be the same this time around. Yet somehow I have managed 30/30 on both of my academic essays thus far! I have completed all 6 parts of my final, and now just need to finish editing my 10 page research paper due on Saturday! Then I have a week break, and then begin the next course! In addition to school, I have started trying to take my health into my own hands. I have set up the appointments that I have been putting off, and trying to take measures to better my overall health. Hopefully a healthier life will also lead to a happier one!

 

I know that I am still on other social media platforms, so some may be asking how this has been so positively effective in achieving the goals that I want? To me, Instagram is the means to describe a picture perfect life; Snapchat is a good way to communicate; Facebook is a way to keep up with the honest parts of friends and families lives. I know that I have a lot to be grateful for and simply needed to pull myself away from the comparison aspect of social media. There were people who were creating unwanted feelings of jealousy that I knew that I needed to do away with. I had been in a bit of a slump and knew that to take care of that I needed to hold my finger down over the colorful icon, and push the ‘x’ in the corner. This is not goodbye forever, but a ‘see ya later!’ until I am in a better place of mind!

All in all, thanks to everyone for their kind words and encouragement always! I know that I am blessed with a loving family, a loving boyfriend, and such a supportive group of individuals in my life. I hope that this post finds you well and maybe some will understand my sudden disappearance. ❤